I shouldn't have complained. I don't normally get stomache aches, but lately I've had them more and more often. I mentioned this to oncologist Dr. Milan Patel, who said one word, "Endoscopy." When I consulted with Dr. Amit Trehan, he added another word, "colonoscopy." He said he'd perform both at the same time, so I spent Tuesday on a gurney at Amarillo Endoscopy Center.
Why do nurses, when they come get you, always ask, "how are you?" I hadn't had anything to eat since breakfast the morning before and nothing to drink since midnight. I'm facing two procedures at either end of my body. How am I feeling? "hungry, thirsty and cranky."
I'm good at cranky.
They made me get naked and put on a paper gown. I had a hard time tying the top, but there was a piece of material that I fashioned into a belt. I may be cranky, but I'm stylish.
Then they wheeled me into their "holding area," what we civilians call a "hallway." I laid there, looking up at the ceiling, and noticed a fire extinguisher in the ceilnig right above me. I thought, "if they have a fire while I'm lying here that sets off that extinguisher, I'm going to be even more cranky than usual."
There was no fire and they wheeled me into the operating room without incident.
Minutes later, to me, I was back in recovery and my wife Tanya was there to drive me home. I wanted to drink -- just about anything -- and sleep. My stomache rumbled, but I couldn't decide if it was from hunger or the procedures. Either way, I didn't feel like food just then. I probably lost a little weight, but it's not a weight-loss program I'd recommend.